Author: Cynthia H. Clark

Child Custody

How to Co-parent With Your Spouse’s Ex

When Maryland parents are hashing out their initial child custody arrangements, it is unlikely that they are thinking about their own remarriages. Blended families are becoming the norm throughout many American regions, however, and managing children from previous marriages can present some difficulties. Imagine being a parent who is trying to juggle custody arrangements for your kids and your new spouse’s children! Not only must you co-parent with your ex, but you are also co-parenting with your spouse’s ex. Although children often benefit from having more loving adults in their lives, this situation has the potential to be exasperating.

You may be concerned that you have nothing in common with your spouse’s ex. What if she is a high-powered professional, and you are a laid-back mom? Even though it may seem difficult to get along with your other co-parent, keep in mind that you have a lot in common: the kids. All of the parents in these situations ostensibly love their children and want to protect their welfare. No matter what stage of development these kids occupy, they need the love and support of all family members.

It is important to be flexible when co-parenting with your spouse’s ex. That other parent might be more likely to see your children on a given day, which means that they have a different type of relationship with your kids. While you might be able to drop everything to make a pediatrician’s appointment, for example, your co-parent might be better at organizing school-related activities. Do not harbor resentment toward the other parent; instead, try to fit your parenting duties to each person’s skills and preferences.

Maryland co-parents can work together to raise successful children through teamwork. Introducing another party may seem like a daunting task, but additional family members can be blessings in disguise. Be flexible and use teamwork to build a strong support network for all children in your household.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “Co-parenting with my husband’s ex-wife” Susan Chatzsky, Oct. 25, 2013

Property Division

Preparing For Retirement During Divorce

The divorce rate for American couples over 50 has doubled since 1990. For many older Maryland couples, the implications of divorce and subsequent property division look very different from those who are divorcing during their younger years. One of the most hotly contested assets in such so-called “Grey Divorces” is the retirement account. Improper approaches to dividing retirement assets can result in serious financial consequences, so taking the time for discovery and disclosure of assets is absolutely necessary.

When considering which assets to pursue, remember that sentimentality can get in your way. Do not become overly attached to your car or your home, for example, as those ties can lead you into poor financial decisions. Divorce also provides a great excuse for revamping and examining your existing insurance policies, allowing you to look toward the future with confidence. Even though divorce can seem scary, it provides a great opportunity for restarting your financial life on your own terms.

Older divorcing couples should remember that they are looking for long-term security in the assets they choose during the split. Start thinking about your financial goals for five, or even 10, years in the future. In some instances, couples choose to simply split assets half-and-half, without considering the nature of those holdings. Instead of accepting a cash settlement, for example, consider negotiating for a share of a pension. The long-term security that accompanies a pension can be far more beneficial than a lump of liquid assets.

After you have split your assets, you must start reviewing your income and budget. Are you going to be required to pay alimony or child support? Will your income change because of the divorce? Financial planners and experts can help divorcees understand more about the implications of these major life changes.

Legal and financial experts can provide additional advice about asset management and property division during divorce. These professionals can set you up for future financial success by guiding you toward the best property division decisions.

Source: www.forbes.com, “Saving your retirement from a divorce” Greg Brown, Oct. 21, 2013

Child Custody

Maryland’s Commission on Child Custody Decision-Making Needs Your Input

The Commission is hosting public hearings on the practice, principles and process for child custody decision-making in Maryland. The Commission asks for your participation in this process.

The Commission is holding a series of REGIONAL public hearings for public input and participation. Individuals and representatives of an organization are invited to come and testify.

If you want to participate, you need to register www.cccdm-meetings-hearings.eventbrite.com/

Even if you do not want to testify, the hearings are open to the public.

ASL and Spanish-language interpreters are available if you let the commission know in advance when you register. You can also tell them of any other language interpreters you may need.

Any questions should be directed to ChildCustodyDecisionMaking@mdcourts.gov. The telephone is 410-260-1580.

All hearings are from 6:00 – 8:00 p.m.

The schedule of future hearings is as follows:

November 7 Harford Co. Harford Community College

Edgewood Hall, Room E132 in the James LaCalle Lecture Hall

401 Thomas Run Road, Bel Air, MD 21502

November 14 Baltimore City Baltimore City Community College

“Mini Conference Center” in the Fine Arts Wing, 2901 Liberty Heights Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21215-7807

Directions: http://www.bccc.edu/Page/94

November 21 Eastern Shore Chesapeake College – Wye Mills Campus

Room HEC110, 1000 College Drive, Wye Mills, MD 21679

Directions: http://www.chesapeake.edu/about/directory.asp

December 11 Prince George’s Co. Bowie Library

Meeting Room, 15210 Annapolis Road, Bowie, MD 20715

Directions:

http://www.pgcmls.info/node/201

Source: Maryland Commission on Child Custody Decision-Making.

Child Custody

Telling Kids About The Need For Therapy

If your Maryland divorce has caused emotional issues for your kids, consider the fact that therapy might be in the best interests of the child. Children who are surrounded by the adult problems that accompany the dissolution of a marriage can develop emotional difficulties that cannot be resolved through simple family support. When you have decided to send your child to therapy, however, you may be wondering just how to break the news; after all, this is an unusual event. Experts recommend a certain course of action when you are preparing to send your children to a mental health professional.

First, find a calm moment when you can easily introduce the idea of therapy. This is not a good topic for times when anger or anxiety dominates the conversation. Further, if you are angry when you deliver the news, your child may view therapy as a form of punishment, causing even more hesitancy. It is also critical to explain exactly what therapy involves. Tell them that doctors exist to help heal the body, but they are also available for healing emotions. Framing the decision as a helpful way for children to talk out their difficulties with someone who is not their parents is often beneficial for everyone.

Parents should also be sure to explain why they think their child needs therapy. For example, if your children are having nightmares or difficulty getting along at school, you can identify these as potential issues. Demonstrate compassion by empathizing with your kids’ plight. An understanding attitude can go a long way toward introducing therapy to your children.

Finally, if your kids seem reluctant to attend therapy, do not give up. Remain calm and remember that your child’s therapist is best equipped to determine whether treatment is still necessary. Working closely with this professional can help your children get through the demanding early days of a child custody agreement.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “When your child needs therapy: Tips for breaking the news and smoothing the way” Kate Scharff, Oct. 07, 2013

Legal Separation

Reasons to Avoid Separation and Plunge Into Divorce

Maryland couples who are considering divorce may have instead settled on a temporary separation agreement before they take the plunge. A growing body of evidence shows, however, that a legal separation can be even more destructive than a quick divorce. Even though short-term separations that last a couple months might be beneficial, the longer stints – those lasting years – can take its toll on spouse’s pocketbooks and emotions. Consider some reasons for simply giving in to the divorce instead of holding on during years of legal separation.

First, those who are legally separated will have a hard time avoiding bitterness since their spouse can manage marital assets according to their own preferences. Living separately can limit both spouses’ ability to monitor financial moves such as investing, selling property or even buying big-ticket items. In addition, if you live in a community property state, your spouse could be accumulating debt that will contribute to your financial load. Even in equitable distribution states, you could be responsible if your spouse is making purchases through joint credit cards.

A long-term separation provides a ripe opportunity for the financially advantaged spouse to begin hiding assets. Even though you may not be rushing to legally end your marriage for other reasons, your spouse could be taking the time to ferret away holdings that might be overlooked during divorce discovery. Long separations make it less likely that the non-moneyed spouse will notice financial dishonesty. Additionally, if your spouse’s financial situation changes during your separation – he or she takes a different job, for instance – you could be entitled to far less settlement money. The amount of child and spousal support to which you are entitled could drop dramatically under those circumstances.

Even though a long-term separation may seem to make sense for you, consider the drawbacks of this choice. Qualified divorce and family attorneys can help separated couples learn more about their legal rights and responsibilities.

Source: www.forbes.com, “Putting off divorce? Ten ways long-term separations can do women more harm than good” Jeff Landers, Oct. 03, 2013

Child Custody

Sex Offenders’ Access to Visitation Debated

Maryland sex offenders may not be allowed within close proximity to a school or daycare, but they are permitted to have a liberal visitation schedule under state law. Even when the other parent protests, many of these adults are allowed full access to their children, including overnight visits without supervision. Now, parents throughout the state are raising opposition against these accommodations, which they say are not in the best interests of the child.

One Maryland woman, whose child’s father is a registered-for-life sex offender, has been vocal about her opposition to state law, which permits the man overnight visits with his 4-year-old son. The man had been convicted of sexually abusing a young girl while the couple was still married. They divorced when he was released from prison in 2012. Even though neither person was represented by an attorney, they hammered out a custody agreement that gave the woman sole physical and legal custody. The woman said she did not fully understand the implications of the custody agreement at the time it was signed, and attempts to change the document have only made matters worse.

In fact, even though the woman argues that another sex offender lives in her ex-husband’s apartment complex, the court refuses to mandate supervision during the child’s visitation. She says she is not intent on removing the child from her ex-husband’s life; rather, she simply wants to assure his safety during the visits. Judges in the case acknowledge that the man is a sex offender, but they do not see any potential danger to the little boy during his stay at his father’s home.

Measures to limit visitation rights for sex offender parents have faced legal barriers in the past, and no provisions exist to limit these individuals’ parental rights.

This case can be taken as a cautionary tale; the woman, in this case, did not choose to employ the services of a qualified attorney. Lawyers can help their clients understand more about the rights that have been included in the custody agreements, heading off any potential problems before they become overwhelming.

Source: www.washingtonpost.com, “Maryland law on sex offenders and child custody must be revisited” No author given, Sep. 29, 2013

Property Division

Who Gets The Rings in a Divorce?

Who knew that a little metal circle could cause so many problems? The fact remains that engagement rings are among the most hotly contested items during the property division phase of modern divorce. Men, you might be surprised to learn that it is extraordinarily unlikely that you will be able to recover the ring, even if you are still paying off the purchase. Although laws differ throughout Maryland and other states, the consensus remains that the engagement ring is generally awarded to the woman in a breakup.

There are two major rules that are used to determine who gets the engagement ring if a breakup occurs before marriage. The majority of states dictate that fault determines entitlement – especially if you break off the engagement. That means that if the man cheated on the woman, he will not be able to recover the ring. In some other jurisdictions, the ring is seen as a token that indicates a promise. In those cases, the woman fails to fulfill her promise if she breaks off the engagement, so the ring is returned to the man.

Other states confirm that the engagement ring is simply a gift that does not have to be returned. This can only be bypassed during divorce if the ring is a family heirloom. That is, if the man is allowing his future bride to use his grandmother’s wedding ring, it is not considered a gift and must be returned.

Both partners would also be wise to remember that jewelry and other big-ticket items given during marriage are still considered gifts that do not need to be returned during a divorce. So, wives who get upgraded wedding bands after five years of marriage do not have to return the ring after the divorce. Other property division laws exist to limit the type and value of the property that can be distributed during a divorce. Qualified family attorneys can explain these rules to people who are going through a breakup.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “Give me my ring back! (Who gets the wedding rings in a divorce?)” Natalie Gregg, Sep. 23, 2013

Alimony

Best Buy CEO Sells Shares For Alimony

The chief executive officer of one of the nation’s largest electronics chains has been forced to sell off millions of dollars in stock options in order to pay for his pending alimony settlement. The man, who held about 20 percent of the company’s overall stock offerings, sold the shares for $16.7 million in early September in order to make spousal support payments. The sale cost a massive $6.3 million fee, so CEO Hubert Joly only netted about $10 million after liquidating his holdings. Officials at the company say the man still possesses some 476,000 shares after the sale; he sold more than 451,000 in the recent buyout.

Company representatives say the firm is not in financial trouble because of the man’s decision to sell; rather, the choice was a personal matter that involved spousal support alone. Further, the man may have additional stock holdings and options that have not yet been revealed to shareholders, which should give company supporters hope for Best Buy’s financial future.

Best Buy had been experiencing flagging sales in recent years, with the advent of online retailers like Amazon and other industry competitors. Shares in the company had even continued to drop in value when Joly initially took over leadership at Best Buy, but the value of the stock has tripled since the beginning of 2013. Business analysts credit Joly’s leadership style and commitment to remedy failed efforts to take Best Buy private for the rise in stock value. In fact, the company is now back on the top performers’ list for the S&P 500 index.

If you are a business owner or leader who must pay an alimony settlement or a continued amount of spousal support, you may be required to take unorthodox steps to acquire the money you need. This could include actions like selling company stock to satisfy property division mandates. A qualified divorce attorney can help you learn more about your financial options during the property division process.

Source: fox2now.com, “Best Buy CEO dumps large stake to pay for divorce” No author given, Sep. 12, 2013

Alimony

Plan For a Divorce Even In a Good Relationship

The dialogue is the same throughout thousands of Maryland households. While the married couple is full of newly wedded bliss, one partner tells the other, “You’ll never have to work. I’ll take care of us.” What happens when the fairy tale ends, though, and the couple’s thoughts turn to divorce, alimony, and child support? The fact that one spouse was effectively shut out of the workplace for so many years will have an effect on the couple’s future.

Most couples do not see the divorce coming immediately. Instead, they spend time considering the future, which might consist of remodels to the home, college payments for the kids, and that vacation to the Bahamas next year. When one spouse stays at home, however, that talk of the future can be dangerously enticing. If the couple divorces, the coming years will certainly hold something very different.

In other words, no one plans for a divorce. Although it might sound macabre, it is always prudent to have a financial and social plan if your marriage does dissolve. How would you make your money? Would your spouse be able to shut you out of the financial picture for a time before the divorce was finalized? What if you have been kept from the workplace for so long that your skills are no longer relevant and you require spousal support? It is important to remember that even holding small, temporary jobs might not be enough to catch a future employer’s eye. The fact remains that some spouses do not have to make the choice between a high-powered career and being a stay-at-home parent. In fact, some have always aspired to just that lifestyle. It helps to be prepared, just in case.

Even if you do not have the discussion with your spouse, have it with yourself. You need to be certain that you have a Plan B if your relationship dissolves, or even if your spouse dies.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be housewives” Jennifer Ball, Sep. 08, 2013

Child Custody

Maryland Child Custody Laws Up For Review

The Maryland child custody and support system has long been known to be lacking. With intensive investigations into the organizations that oversee child support and continued criticism of government involvement, state residents may have lost faith in many of the region’s existing processes. Now, though, two attorneys from Frederick County are joining forces with other state leaders to revamp a child custody system that could lead to major improvements for families throughout the state.

The endeavor is part of a comprehensive effort by The Commission on Child Custody Decision-Making, which was created by leaders in the General Assembly in early 2013. The commission is slated to meet for the first time during the month of September. Participants in the commission say they believe the ideas generated by the group will allow families in the area to make significant strides. Commission members will be evaluating the process currently used by judges to make custody decisions.

Families in Maryland have complained that judges’ rulings are not always uniform or fair to guardians and parents. In fact, the state does not have a systematic program to direct judges when they are awarding custody in family court. In other words, judges do not have a set of rules to help them determine who should receive custody. Now, the commission is considering drafting laws to guide judges during their custody proceedings, providing a more comprehensive system for families throughout the state.

In addition, the commission will study the effects of child custody litigation on children so legal processes can be modified to benefit young participants. Members of the commission will also consider techniques for maximizing parental interaction in children’s lives, along with the benefits and drawbacks of joint physical custody. The decisions made by this commission stand to vastly improve the lives of countless families throughout the state, and the conclusions drawn could even benefit those in other jurisdictions.

Source: www.fredericknewspost.com, “Frederick County, Maryland attorneys to look at child custody changes” Danielle E. Gaines, Sep. 03, 2013