Identifying Marital Property During Divorce

Dividing assets during divorce is becoming increasingly complicated in the modern economy. With couples sharing homes, vacation properties, pension plans and stock options and even professional licenses, a higher level of care is required in today’s property divisionagreements. It is important to recognize the difference between separate and marital assets before you can begin to split your holdings during your breakup.

In general, separate property in Maryland consists of the following: property that was owned by one spouse before the marriage; inheritances; a gift provided by a third party; or payment from pain and suffering related to a personal injury suit. Separate property can become marital property if the value is commingled with other jointly-held assets. If you deposit your inheritance money into a joint account, for example, those funds become fair game during divorce negotiations.

Alternatively, other property acquired during marriage is generally considered to be a joint asset. This is true regardless of the official owner of the property listed on titles or deeds. As a divorcing spouse, you are entitled to value held in your husband’s or wife’s 401K, even if the other person’s name is listed on the account. State laws differ somewhat with regards to specific assets, so be sure you are consulting a qualified attorney to find out more about your legal rights to marital property during divorce.

Some states also recognize the increase in value from a separate property as marital property. For example, if you held a rental property before getting married and its value increased, the difference could be considered dividable property during divorce. Maryland is an equitable distribution state, so several factors are considered when marital property is being divided.

If you have questions about property division during your divorce, consider consulting a qualified family attorney. These professionals can help you learn more about your property rights during your breakup, allowing you to understand your claims to retirement accounts, real estate, tax refunds, art and antiques, among other holdings.

Source:  www.huffingtonpost.com, “Understanding how assets get divided in divorce” Jeff Landers, Jun. 14, 2013

Don’t Listen to Tabloids for Divorce Advice

Celebrity gossip outlets have already dedicated a significant amount of time and resources to the divorce of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy, a couple who gained national renown through their appearance on the ‘Real Housewives of New York.’ The man, who is a pharmaceutical representative, filed for divorce earlier in 2013, but the couple is reportedly still living together in their $5 million apartment. The situation has led to not only questions about child custody, but also an increasingly tense property division situation.

One of the more difficult questions during any divorce relates to the ownership of the family home. Homes are generally one of the most significant assets in a marriage, making property division issues even more sensitive. The case of Frankel and Hoppy raises additional questions about exactly who should be allowed to remain in the marital home after a breakup. In this particular case, neither of the members of the couple will move out of the apartment because they think that action could be construed as abandonment under law in the state of New York. They believe the person who leaves could face an uphill fight in retaining rights to the property after the divorce. That law changed to reflect no-fault divorce protocol such as that currently present in Maryland.

Legal information from experts shows that statement to be patently false. No matter if one person moves out of the marital home, it is still considered an asset that was acquired during their marriage. That makes it fair game for negotiation during a divorce. The value of the property would be divided during the breakup, regardless of who actually lives there.

If you are concerned about the future of your marital home, you do not have to take drastic steps such as continuing to live with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. Instead, consult a qualified family attorney to help you learn more about your financial and legal rights. Property division questions, especially those pertaining to the family home, are sensitive and should be handled by an experienced professional.

Source:  www.forbes.com, “Should you move out of the marital home? Learn from divorce attorneys, not the tabloids” Jeff Landers, Jun. 11, 2013

Breaking the News to Your Kids: How to Talk About Divorce

For Maryland parents, telling children about divorce can be one of the most difficult discussions they ever conduct. Before you begin hashing out a visitation schedule with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, you need to communicate information about your breakup to your children. Experts say there are several slip-ups that should be avoided when you are attempting to clearly converse about your divorce with your children.

First, do not tell your kids that you still love their mother or father. The adage, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you,” may be excessively confusing to youngsters and frustrating for older kids. The distinction among types of love is a subtle enough difference for adults; inflicting this higher-order comprehension on children can lead to disaster. Instead, focus on the fact that you will never fall out of love with your children, even though you may not want to be married to your spouse.

If you truly intend to divorce, do not tell your children that you are simply “trying out” separation. This will falsely inflate their hopes about their family situation, and the divorce will be significantly more difficult following this confusing statement. Do not give your children hope that you will reconcile if you intend to permanently dissolve your marriage.

Finally, experts say you should not try to portray your divorce as a positive event. This is a difficult time for everyone involved, and children should be allowed to grieve for the loss of their family relationships. Even though it might be a relief that you and your spouse will be able to stop fighting, for example, you should not tell your children that the breakup will be “great” for any reason. This is a sad event that deserves a sober description. Honor your children’s feelings by acknowledging that fact.

If you are just announcing your divorce to your children, you might need the assistance of a qualified attorney to further advise you about the legal aspects of the split. Consider seeking help from a family attorney who can help you integrate your needs with those of your children during your breakup.

Source:  www.huffingtonpost.com, “Telling your kids about the split: The six most common (well-intended) mistakes” Kate Scharff, May. 25, 2013

Japan Finally Adopts Hague Convention Treaty

As international child abduction plays an ever-growing role in American child custody cases, the number of countries committed to child safety and family choice appears to be growing. Japan has become the latest nation to sign the international child custody treaty that could prevent native parents from taking their children from Americans without recourse.

The country approved the treaty adoption amid concerns that primarily originated from American fathers, many of whom are service members. These men alleged that the mothers of their children were spiriting the kids away to Japan, where they were protected from requirements outlined in the 1980 Hague Convention. The approval of the treaty will provide additional protection to foreign parents.

Opponents of the measure cited evidence that Japanese women may be fleeing abusive American spouses. That argument remained one of the most potent against the treaty ratification even until recent years.

The political shortcoming was highlighted during the 2009 child custody case involving an American father and a Japanese mother. The man was arrested in Japan after he was accused of taking the pair’s two children as they walked to school. A U.S. court had awarded the man full custody of the children, but the Japanese mother took matters into her own hands by fleeing from Tennessee to her native country. American legislators turned up the heat on Japanese politicians in 2010, condemning the nation’s refusal to agree to Hague provisions.

Japanese law dictates that only one parent — generally the mother — retains custody of the children after divorce. The Hague convention will not change that legal precedent, but it will affect the way the nation honors U.S. custody decisions. The change will also only apply to new cases.

If you are facing an international custody battle, your best ally is a qualified family attorney. These professionals can help you understand your rights and responsibilities as officials attempt to enforce U.S. law through the provisions of the Hague treaty.

Source:  www.huffingtonpost.com, “Japan child custody laws: Japan approves joining international child custody treaty” Malcolm Foster, May. 22, 2013

Protect Your Assets Without a Prenup

Many couples choose to protect their assets before divorce through the use of prenuptial agreements, but such property division strategies are not always feasible. Considering that about half of Americans split up within the first eight years of marriage, an alternative to the prenuptial agreement would be useful. Experts say latecomers to property division should consider shielding their assets from the marital estate through the use of divorce trusts.

A financial shield known as a self-settled trust can help you protect assets for your sole benefit, effectively removing them from your spouse’s access. Ideally, you should set up these trust documents before you have any creditors. These include your spouse, or perhaps your soon-to-be ex-spouse. You do not have to tell your spouse about this trust if you establish it 31 days before marriage in some states. Other states also allow you to set up this type of specialized trust even after your marriage is formalized.

Experts in divorce and financial law urge caution when using these trusts, however. Do not put all of your money eggs in one basket. The trust should be seen as a safety net in the event of a divorce, not your primary source of income. If you put too much in the trust, your ex could successfully argue that you are trying to hide marital property.

Another trust option is known as the Delaware statutory trust. This type of trust is commonly used by entrepreneurs in lieu of establishing limited liability companies. If the trust becomes part of the marital estate, it would be an unattractive asset because of the tax structure. An ex-spouse could attempt to obtain the trust during the divorce, but that person would then have to bear the entire income tax burden, even if there is no distribution from the account.

So, even if you have not set up prenuptial documents, you could still protect your assets from the possibility of divorce. Consider consulting your financial planner and family attorney to learn more about your legal options and rights.

Source:  online.barrons.com, “Divorce trusts” Tatiana Serafin, May. 18, 2013

Summer Camp Causes Custody Woes

Most school years are coming to an end, and the perennial debate about summer child custody arrangements may just be heating up in some households. Making summer plans for your children is difficult enough when you are married, but it can become downright harrowing when you are divorced. This is especially true when trying to decide upon summer camp options.

Your custody agreement may mandate a specific percentage of payment for summer camps and other activities. Many agreements require both parents to agree on a camp, but also to prevent one person from insisting upon the most expensive option. Some couples find it difficult to decide whether to send their children to overnight camps or day camps. This can end in a stalemate with the child ultimately suffering. When you get stuck on a summer camp debate, experts say you should consider using your mediation techniques to make the decision.

First, identify the reasons you want your child to attend a certain camp. Ask your spouse to do the same. These reasons may sound silly – you might admit you would miss your child too much if he left for a month – but your concerns are valid. You should schedule a meeting with your spouse to review your opinions about camp. During that meeting, come up with three alternatives that could meet the majority of both parents’ requests.

For example, if you are afraid of sending your child away for the entire summer, consider choosing an overnight camp that is closer to both parents’ homes. You could also agree to switch child caring or custody schedules to support different types of camps. Negotiate for your child’s best interests.

If you are experiencing difficulty with a summertime child custody agreement, consult a qualified family law attorney. This professional can help you learn more about your rights and responsibilities in the courtroom, leading you to an agreement that can be amenable to both parents.

Source:  www.huffingtonpost.com, “Mediating your summer camp squabbles” Diane L. Danois, May. 13, 2013

Using Pets To Ease Divorce Stress For Kids

Divorce is one of the most stressful times for children. This period of tumult and upheaval can be ameliorated by the presence of one important living thing: a pet. Child custody experts say that family pets can be among the most beneficial factors for children going through a family split. Kids should be able to have unlimited access to the family pet. If you do not yet have a furry friend, you might consider obtaining one quickly after the divorce.

In the United States, some 65 percent of households have pets. About 39 percent of those have dogs, while 34 percent own one or more cats. Pets are beneficial to youngsters for a variety of reasons. Animals provide unconditional love and support for children going through upheaval. Your pets will not judge, and they will always listen. Pets will never judge children for their emotions; whether they feel sad, sluggish, angry or relieved, they can communicate to their pets without negative consequences.

Pets also bring a sense of security to young children. Even in the midst of a divorce, when children might feel lonely and somewhat abandoned, their pets will always be there. This is evident during early childhood, but teens also benefit from the animals’ support. Furthermore, pets can provide a great bridge for communicating with adults. Your kids can relate to you by discussing the dog or cat, even when it seems like you have nothing else in common.

Finally, pets are great stress relievers. Playing fetch or running with a dog can give a great sense of physical release. Pets are sources of laughter and joy, and they can provide nurturing support to both youngsters and adults during the trials of divorce.

If you are attempting to divide “custody” of your family’s pets, consider talking to a qualified divorce attorney. These professionals can help you learn more about your courtroom rights and responsibilities during your breakup.

Source:  www.huffingtonpost.com, “Pets very helpful for children coping with divorce” Rosalind Sedacca, May. 06, 2013

How To Avoid Co-Parenting Arguments

Even though your divorce may be final, if you have children with your spouse, your personal relationship with your ex is sure to continue. Welcome to the interesting and challenging world of co-parenting! As you learn to adhere to the guidelines set forth in your child custody agreement, you may encounter some roadblocks, especially at the beginning of the process. You may find that little disagreements rapidly spin out of control. If you are informed about the potential barriers to success, however, you are more likely to maintain a healthy interaction with your ex and their potential new mate.

It is important to recognize that you will encounter obstacles and challenges throughout your co-parenting experience. You may disagree, for example, about which summer camp to send the kids to or which after-school activity would be most beneficial. Remind yourself that you have declared a “ceasefire” with your ex; in essence you must prohibit yourself from reopening old wounds when discussing childcare decisions. Calling a truce can help you build a stronger co-parenting relationship.

It is inevitable that you will argue with your ex-spouse about some child custody matters. Frankly, you probably argued with your ex during your marriage as well, so this may be a difficult trap to escape. Remember that your co-parenting actions will have a direct effect on your children’s emotional and mental health; you should be careful to act in a respectful fashion whenever possible.

If you feel as though you are having difficulty abiding by your child custody agreement, or you notice that you both need help relating to each other as co-parents, seek advice from your divorce team. You should enlist the help of divorce attorneys as well as therapists, mediators and other professional support to guide you through this difficult process. Your divorce attorney and other members of the team can provide assistance during this new and challenging experience.

Source:  huffingtonpost.com, “We’re divorced! What’s left to argue over?” Diana L. Danois, Apr. 26, 2013

Wevorce Revolutionizes Divorce Proceedings

About half of all American marriages end in divorce. Last year, Maryland residents and others nationwide contributed to the 800,000 married couples who filed for the legal separation, confirming the fact that nearly half of the 2 million Americans who marry each year are headed to the courtroom. While some of these breakups are adversarial, an increasing number of couples are looking to complete their property division and child custody decisions in a collaborative fashion. New technology is actually allowing couples to perform most of their divorce processes online, working together to craft their divorce agreement out of court.

This innovative program, known as Wevorce, aims to minimize the stress and discomfort of divorce by making the process faster, simpler and less expensive. The program’s creators emphasize that family members go through divorce together, so a cleaner break is often more beneficial.

The computer-based service provides a complete divorce package for about 30 percent of the two-attorney litigation process. The six-step process includes planning for the divorce, co-parenting strategies, parenting agreements, financial planning and finalizing the divorce settlement.

Wevorce has a simple and revolutionary structure. It requires couples to meet with a mediator together for an initial consultation rather than bringing ideas to the table with their individual attorneys. The legal system should be a collaborative process, according to the program’s creators, rather than a fight for property rights and other benefits.

Although the program is still small, the client base appears to be growing as the technology becomes more popular. Attorneys are given more time to work face-to-face with their clients because paperwork becomes more automated and easier. Wevorce can also help families navigate the divorce process over a distance, making it one of the most versatile tools in the divorce world today.

Couples seeking easier approaches to the divorce process could consider alternative methods like collaborative law and technological tools. Consult with a collaborative law professional to find out more about your legal options.

Source: forbes.com, “Can this Y-Combinator startup’s technology keep couples out of divorce court?” Jeff Landers, April 10, 2013

What if Your Child Doesn’t Like Your New Beau?

When a divorced parent starts seeing a new beau, children in the household can have a variety of reactions. An important part of maintaining a beneficial child custody arrangement is the ability of exes and new paramours to get along. Experts say there are several steps that can help parents reconcile their new love interests with the needs of their children.

First, both parents need to reinforce the fact that they both love and care for their children. Even if the kids are not living with the nuclear family full-time, parents can provide the emotional support necessary for children to permit a new beau into the family structure. Reassure your children that they will be seeing both parents as frequently as the co-parenting agreement permits.

Children need to be allowed to express their feelings about their parents’ new partners. One woman said she took her child to a low-key Mexican restaurant at an off hour so they could discuss his hang-ups with her new boyfriend. The woman and her close female friend fielded questions about the new boyfriend and allowed the boy to express his true feelings, some of which were hurtful; he told his mother that she had caused his father to leave, for example.

After the air was cleared, the woman set ground rules for interaction with the new man. Her son had previously said that he would never talk to the boyfriend and that he intended to chase him off. The woman insisted that her son at least act in a polite manner, even if he did not prefer the boyfriend’s company. She also asked her ex to explain that he was comfortable with the new man, hypothesizing that the boy was disapproving of the boyfriend simply out of loyalty.

After completing these steps, the boy’s relationship with his mother’s partner has greatly improved; he even allows the man to drive him to school on occasion! Child custody situations involving new partners can be difficult to navigate, but good communication can allow everyone to be comfortable.

Source: Huffington Post, “When kids dislike your new partner,” Christine Gallagher, April 3, 2013