Category: Child Custody

If you are a divorced parent of Maryland teenagers, you may be experiencing difficulty after finding a new beau. Teens may decide they do not like their mom or dad’s new partner or spouse. This is a significant child-rearing issue. Parents stand to lose a lot in this situation. Their teens could become less respectful. The parent could also lose the love of their new partner. Experts say there are ways to help everyone get along.

Parents need to stand strong in their commitment to their new partner. Children model the decisions and behaviors of their parents. If your children do not like your new partner, but you are committed to that person, you need to be firm. Kids will learn poor character if you rush to defend them every time they are supposedly ‘wronged’ by your new partner.

Try to empathize with the way your children feel. Many kids want parents to themselves. They do not want to share. Parents still deserve to be happy. Unless the children have a valid reason for their disdain of your partner, they still have to be respectful. Kids sometimes dislike their parents’ new partners because they think they have lost their families.

Also, try to empathize with your new partner. Your new husband or wife needs to realize that you will be firm even when the children are acting out. Further, a girlfriend or boyfriend is not responsible for ensuring that the kids are raised properly. Try not to put too much pressure on your partner.

Many child-rearing issues arise during shared custody situations. Adults must continue living their lives while integrating their children’s needs. Use compromise and appropriate legal strategies to promote the best interests of the child.

Source: Huffington Post, “Man Up to Your Children: Do Not Let Them Determine Your Love Life” Sherrie Campbell, Jan. 24, 2014

They are called ‘high-conflict’ child custody cases. These cases are causing quite a stir in one East Coast state, as a growing number of parents and grandparents criticize the way that these contentious matters are handled in court. Citizens in Maryland’s nearby state of Connecticut are bringing their complaints directly to the politicians who make critical decisions about child custody disputes.

At the center of the debate: court-appointed advocates for kids involved in custody disputes, known as ‘guardians ad litem.’ Those individuals are selected to promote the child’s interest during custody cases, but they often fail both parents and the system they are supposed to protect. Local residents say the GAL system is broken because non-compliant GALs are permitted to continue to work as normal. Few complaints against these court-appointed representatives ever see the light of day, according to parents, who say they are fed up with the expense and delays that plague the state’s current system.

Individuals who arrived at the state capitol in early January explained that they are effectively going bankrupt because of their high-conflict child custody proceedings. One woman claims that her brother’s divorce cost over $1 million, while others say they are forced to spend tens of thousands of dollars for the services of a GAL.

Reforming the GAL-based system is still a contentious topic, with some advocates insisting that a longer child custody dispute is sometimes better for determining what is best for the children at risk. Others say that sweeping reforms could benefit the state’s child custody system, and a task force has been assembled to make recommendations about the system.

Children and parents involved in high-conflict divorce deserve to be heard and respected. A qualified family attorney can promote both kids’ and parents’ interests in the courtroom, even in the current GAL system. Maryland parents who believe they are facing a high-conflict divorce may benefit from consulting an experienced family attorney to learn more about appropriate legal strategies and options.

Source: WTNH.com, “Hearing for a change in custody cases” Mark Davis, Jan. 09, 2014

With the holiday season wrapping up, divorced parents have likely been thinking about gift giving during the past several weeks. No matter the ages of your children, holiday gifts can be a particularly difficult child-rearing issue, especially if you do not communicate well with your ex-spouse. Challenges experienced during the holiday season can be applied throughout the entire year, however, according to child custody experts who urge caution and respect when buying presents for your young ones.

Scores of Maryland parents know the feeling. Their kids’ other parent purchases an inappropriate or inconvenient gift. Take, for example, the woman who struggled to set up the Xbox gaming system that her children’s dad bought them for Christmas. Not only did parts go missing as they were hauled back and forth between the two houses, but the gift quickly became a bone of contention. In the end, the teens ended up saving money to purchase a second gaming system, but not before a serious amount of frustration.

Custodial parents may suffer from overcrowding in their home – but not from people. Gifts can quickly accumulate in smaller residences. With this in mind, non-custodial parents are encouraged to coordinate their gift-giving with the parent who has primary custody. Not only does this prevent “outgifting” competitions – competing for your child’s affections through big purchases – but it also keeps clutter at bay.

Further, parents should take care to refrain from putting limits on toys or other gifts. Children should be able to take the item between their two homes. In most cases, kids value family peace over the nature of the presents, so give them the opportunity to enjoy their items without hassle. It should go without saying, however, that parents should not purchase animals or other significant presents that are expected to stay at the other parent’s home. Buying a puppy and then dumping it with your child at your ex’s home is extraordinarily inappropriate.

The key to positive gift-giving is to keep in mind the best interests of the child. Your child custody practices should be designed to allow both parents equal opportunity to provide gifts. Make birthdays and holidays happy times instead of contentious events by following these simple tips.

Source: Huffington Post, “Where do gifts live? Does your ex want a puppy? Gifting can be vexing for kids of divorce” Leanne Italie, Dec. 23, 2013

Going through a divorce in Maryland can be a trying experience. You may find yourself exhausted, frustrated and overwhelmed by the financial, social and emotional toll that the process takes on you. What if you and your ex could work together, though, to sort out child custody and other agreements without all the hassle? Divorce experts provide specific strategies that can prevent driving your ex-spouse to the breaking point; in return, that person may be more likely to work together for resolution instead of fighting tooth and nail.

In any breakup, spouses will disagree. They are also likely to get angry about the divorce and may shut down all communication with their exes. In situations that involve crafting a visitation schedule and figuring out how to co-parent, silence can be a huge limiting factor. Consider the fact that spouses’ attempts to “stick it to” the other person only end up hurting the children who are caught in the middle. Instead of shutting down communication with your co-parent, try to employ strategies that will allow you to talk only when necessary. At some point, though, you are going to have to make an effort to work together with your ex.

With this in mind, experts also say that it is critical to avoid arguing about custody arrangements in front of the kids. Adults do not have the right to put their own emotions ahead of their children’s needs. Take the time to understand your anger and resentment, and make a good faith effort to simply let those emotions go. Parents who hate each other are actually making life worse for their kids. For the sake of your family, try to grit your teeth and work toward a more functional relationship with your ex.

Ultimately, an angry, high-conflict divorce does nothing to further your needs as a family. Take the time to examine your reasons for being so angry. A comprehensive divorce team that includes a qualified divorce attorney and mental health professional can help you and your ex work toward a co-parenting and visitation schedule that works well for everyone.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “Coping with divorce: 5 things that will drive any divorcee nuts!” Jackie Pilossoph, Nov. 22, 2013

The holiday season is nearly in full swing. For Maryland families with child custody agreements, that can lead to a lot of headaches. The key to co-parenting during the “holiday shuffle” is flexibility, according to experts. As your Thanksgiving celebrations kick off, consider revisiting your perspective about your holiday traditions. Your family might just be thankful for a more relaxed holiday season.

To survive the holiday madness, consider shifting the celebration of specific holidays to different dates. Although Thanksgiving traditionally falls on the fourth Thursday of November, you can celebrate it at any time. If your custody arrangement does not allow you to have custody of the kids on an actual date, just approximate! Your kids are less likely to be bothered by a date change than by the fact that their parents are fighting over having custody at a specific time.

Also, consider the radical idea that you might want to celebrate family holidays with your ex-spouse. Married or not, you are still both parents to your kids. Why not sweep some of your differences under the rug for an evening to allow your children to be the center of your holiday celebrations? You could create a series of new traditions – perhaps from a past time or culture – that would make each holiday feel new and special under the child custody arrangements.

During the holidays, parents need to be sure to prepare themselves emotionally for some of the loneliness that may sink in when their kids are gone. Still, you can enjoy some delightful alone time, or schedule special activities with friends that do not involve your children.

Holidays when co-parenting are all about being practical. Learn to be flexible and accommodating, and your charitable spirit is sure to shine! The holidays should be a time of love and caring. You can achieve that environment by adopting a flexible attitude toward your child custody arrangements.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “Surviving the Co-Parenting “Holiday Shuffle”” Michelle Crosby, Nov. 18, 2013

The Commission is hosting public hearings on the practice, principles and process for child custody decision-making in Maryland. The Commission asks for your participation in this process.

The Commission is holding a series of REGIONAL public hearings for public input and participation. Individuals and representatives of an organization are invited to come and testify.

If you want to participate, you need to register www.cccdm-meetings-hearings.eventbrite.com/

Even if you do not want to testify, the hearings are open to the public.

ASL and Spanish-language interpreters are available if you let the commission know in advance when you register. You can also tell them of any other language interpreters you may need.

Any questions should be directed to ChildCustodyDecisionMaking@mdcourts.gov. The telephone is 410-260-1580.

All hearings are from 6:00 – 8:00 p.m.

The schedule of future hearings is as follows:

November 7 Harford Co. Harford Community College

Edgewood Hall, Room E132 in the James LaCalle Lecture Hall

401 Thomas Run Road, Bel Air, MD 21502

November 14 Baltimore City Baltimore City Community College

“Mini Conference Center” in the Fine Arts Wing, 2901 Liberty Heights Avenue, Baltimore, MD 21215-7807

Directions: http://www.bccc.edu/Page/94

November 21 Eastern Shore Chesapeake College – Wye Mills Campus

Room HEC110, 1000 College Drive, Wye Mills, MD 21679

Directions: http://www.chesapeake.edu/about/directory.asp

December 11 Prince George’s Co. Bowie Library

Meeting Room, 15210 Annapolis Road, Bowie, MD 20715

Directions:

http://www.pgcmls.info/node/201

Source: Maryland Commission on Child Custody Decision-Making.

If your Maryland divorce has caused emotional issues for your kids, consider the fact that therapy might be in the best interests of the child. Children who are surrounded by the adult problems that accompany the dissolution of a marriage can develop emotional difficulties that cannot be resolved through simple family support. When you have decided to send your child to therapy, however, you may be wondering just how to break the news; after all, this is an unusual event. Experts recommend a certain course of action when you are preparing to send your children to a mental health professional.

First, find a calm moment when you can easily introduce the idea of therapy. This is not a good topic for times when anger or anxiety dominates the conversation. Further, if you are angry when you deliver the news, your child may view therapy as a form of punishment, causing even more hesitancy. It is also critical to explain exactly what therapy involves. Tell them that doctors exist to help heal the body, but they are also available for healing emotions. Framing the decision as a helpful way for children to talk out their difficulties with someone who is not their parents is often beneficial for everyone.

Parents should also be sure to explain why they think their child needs therapy. For example, if your children are having nightmares or difficulty getting along at school, you can identify these as potential issues. Demonstrate compassion by empathizing with your kids’ plight. An understanding attitude can go a long way toward introducing therapy to your children.

Finally, if your kids seem reluctant to attend therapy, do not give up. Remain calm and remember that your child’s therapist is best equipped to determine whether treatment is still necessary. Working closely with this professional can help your children get through the demanding early days of a child custody agreement.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com, “When your child needs therapy: Tips for breaking the news and smoothing the way” Kate Scharff, Oct. 07, 2013

Maryland sex offenders may not be allowed within close proximity to a school or daycare, but they are permitted to have a liberal visitation schedule under state law. Even when the other parent protests, many of these adults are allowed full access to their children, including overnight visits without supervision. Now, parents throughout the state are raising opposition against these accommodations, which they say are not in the best interests of the child.

One Maryland woman, whose child’s father is a registered-for-life sex offender, has been vocal about her opposition to state law, which permits the man overnight visits with his 4-year-old son. The man had been convicted of sexually abusing a young girl while the couple was still married. They divorced when he was released from prison in 2012. Even though neither person was represented by an attorney, they hammered out a custody agreement that gave the woman sole physical and legal custody. The woman said she did not fully understand the implications of the custody agreement at the time it was signed, and attempts to change the document have only made matters worse.

In fact, even though the woman argues that another sex offender lives in her ex-husband’s apartment complex, the court refuses to mandate supervision during the child’s visitation. She says she is not intent on removing the child from her ex-husband’s life; rather, she simply wants to assure his safety during the visits. Judges in the case acknowledge that the man is a sex offender, but they do not see any potential danger to the little boy during his stay at his father’s home.

Measures to limit visitation rights for sex offender parents have faced legal barriers in the past, and no provisions exist to limit these individuals’ parental rights.

This case can be taken as a cautionary tale; the woman, in this case, did not choose to employ the services of a qualified attorney. Lawyers can help their clients understand more about the rights that have been included in the custody agreements, heading off any potential problems before they become overwhelming.

Source: www.washingtonpost.com, “Maryland law on sex offenders and child custody must be revisited” No author given, Sep. 29, 2013

The Maryland child custody and support system has long been known to be lacking. With intensive investigations into the organizations that oversee child support and continued criticism of government involvement, state residents may have lost faith in many of the region’s existing processes. Now, though, two attorneys from Frederick County are joining forces with other state leaders to revamp a child custody system that could lead to major improvements for families throughout the state.

The endeavor is part of a comprehensive effort by The Commission on Child Custody Decision-Making, which was created by leaders in the General Assembly in early 2013. The commission is slated to meet for the first time during the month of September. Participants in the commission say they believe the ideas generated by the group will allow families in the area to make significant strides. Commission members will be evaluating the process currently used by judges to make custody decisions.

Families in Maryland have complained that judges’ rulings are not always uniform or fair to guardians and parents. In fact, the state does not have a systematic program to direct judges when they are awarding custody in family court. In other words, judges do not have a set of rules to help them determine who should receive custody. Now, the commission is considering drafting laws to guide judges during their custody proceedings, providing a more comprehensive system for families throughout the state.

In addition, the commission will study the effects of child custody litigation on children so legal processes can be modified to benefit young participants. Members of the commission will also consider techniques for maximizing parental interaction in children’s lives, along with the benefits and drawbacks of joint physical custody. The decisions made by this commission stand to vastly improve the lives of countless families throughout the state, and the conclusions drawn could even benefit those in other jurisdictions.

Source: www.fredericknewspost.com, “Frederick County, Maryland attorneys to look at child custody changes” Danielle E. Gaines, Sep. 03, 2013