Category: Divorce

The first holiday season after a divorce can open a whole new can of emotions for you and for your children. The challenging part about the winter holidays is that they are centered around family traditions. When your family has recently been broken apart, those wounds can still be fresh, and you may find the period of adjustment is longer than you thought it would be.

To give you a head start – and a bit of inspiration – here are 10 co-parenting tips for braving the first holiday season after your divorce:

1. Put your child’s needs first.

You and your former spouse are the ones who decided to end the marriage, but your child might feel as though you or your former spouse broke up the family. If you can, sit down together to discuss ways to avoid the awkwardness of your first holiday apart, and answer any questions your child may have.

2. Plan some traditional holiday activities….

Put some thought into how to make your child’s holiday season special. Try to do as many of the things that you usually do with them each year, so there is some sense of continuity.

3. But be sure to create new holiday traditions, too.

Some things will simply have to change, and that can be hard on kids. Take this opportunity to build new family traditions that involve you and your child.

4. Follow the rules….

Consult the parenting plan agreement. What visitation schedule did you agree to? Follow the plan as much as possible.

5. But be flexible if needed.

Just as important as it is to follow the agreed upon parenting plan, it is helpful to be flexible when plans change. Give a little, get a little and make sure that the kids benefit from your willingness to adapt.

6. Remember it is not a competition.

Co-parents might feel tempted to “one-up” each other to win the award for being the favorite or best parent. No matter how hard you try, you cannot buy enough gifts to compensate for any feelings of pain or loss your child has. Remember that it is okay if your child needs some time to adjust to this new way of life, and support him or her as best you can.

7. Coordinate gift purchases.

A good way to avoid tip #6 is to work together on gift buying. One parent might focus on buying the child new clothes while the other buys toys, or if one parent buys a bike, the other might buy a coordinating helmet and new sneakers.

8. Try to get along with your co-parent.

By modeling your ability to be cordial or even friendly with your co-parent, your child will learn that it is possible to get through a divorce without leaving a “scorched earth” behind. Besides – the holiday season is supposed to be one filled with harmony and forgiveness (or so all those movies and advertisements tell us). Us this opportunity to show your child that even if you and your ex-spouse can no longer be together, your child is still as loved and as important to the both of you as he or she always was.

9. Deal with your grief.

Chances are, there will be some point during the holiday season when your former spouse has the kids and you will find yourself alone with your thoughts. Try taking a bit of alone time to process your grief and your own sense of loss. Divorce can be emotionally devastating. Putting off dealing with your grief does not make it go away. It will just wait for an inopportune moment to express itself.

10. Take good care of yourself.

While the kids are with your ex, schedule some fun times for yourself. It is okay to be sad, and to spend some time alone – but it also okay to join friends and loved ones in their celebrations. In short, attend to your needs. Pamper yourself. Indulge in treats that you usually deny yourself. Find you favorite way to de-stress, so that when the kids come home you will be refreshed and ready to face the new year and your new life after divorce.

Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC provides thoughtful representation for family law clients throughout Maryland. You can learn more about our services by calling 410.921.2422  or completing our contact form to schedule a consultation with an experienced Annapolis divorce attorney.

While men initiate more breakups in non-marital heterosexual relationships, in marriages women initiate divorce about 69% of the time, according to a recent study quoted in the Washington Post. Although people divorce for countless reasons, one of the main drivers of women initiating divorce at this point in the culture can be summed up in a single word:

Expectations.

Women have much higher expectations for their lives and for marriage than the women who came before them. In the past, many young women’s best hope for a prosperous future relied on landing a “good man” to marry. As time passed and women began to gain more personal agency, and made gains in the workplace and in the social order, many women focused on having a rewarding career rather than finding a man who has one. Women want it all, and when wanting it all includes a man, she often wants that man to be her equal – in ambition, in earning, and even in sharing the tasks required to make a home run efficiently.

When that does not happen, women are now much more willing to file for divorce when they are feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied with their marriage. For some women, being the ones who decide to make the first move is also empowering. By initiating the divorce process, they can retain some control over their futures.

Unequal division of labor at home leads to lower marital satisfaction for women

While women’s roles are expanding in the world, back at home, some of the old expectations that the woman will manage household responsibilities and child care continue to prevail. It is the expectation that a woman can pursue an advanced education, take on demanding work outside of the home, and then be expected to have children, care for and nurture them, manage a household and take care of a spouse that pushes some women towards divorce.

Food for thought: a study published in the American Psychological Association journal APA PsycNET found in marriages where the household chores were split more equitably, both partners reported higher sexual satisfaction. So, maybe if your marriage is in a rocky place, you might revisit how the household chores are divided.

Regardless of who initiates the divorce, it is going to be a challenging process that could benefit from the services of an experienced, Annapolis divorce attorney who will protect your interests and support you in achieving an outcome that works for you.

If you believe that your marriage is over and that it is time to start planning for divorce, an experienced Maryland divorce lawyer from Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC can help. Please call us at 410.921.2422 to schedule a consultation, or complete our contact form.

When a couple decides to divorce, each person may harbor fears about how the children will be affected, or how the property will be split. Depending on the exact circumstances, there may be quibbling (or a contentious battle) over issues like alimony, child support or the effect on the family business. What most couples do not readily consider is the effect a divorce may have on their taxes.

Perhaps they should. A recent article in Forbes regarding the new tax Bill in the House of Representatives looks at six tax breaks that most couples stand to lose. In the number one spot is the alimony deduction – and it is not the only reason that the cost of your divorce will increase, both before and after the process is complete. We want to address the cost of your divorce under the new tax Bill, so you can be prepared for what is to come, if it passes.

Tax reform and alimony

Alimony is an adjustment to the income of both the person who pays (the payor) and the person who receives the award. In many cases, there is a significant difference in the earnings between the two parties. This is especially true in a marriage where one person runs the home, and the other earns a salary. When a couple in this position divorces, the two spouses are placed in different tax brackets.

For example: let us say the husband is the person who left the home to work, and he pays 35% of his income in taxes. The husband is ordered to pay $50,000 per year in alimony. The wife only has alimony for her income; as such, she is taxed at a rate of 15%. Under the current tax laws, as Forbes puts it, “alimony payments are deductible by the payor, and considered taxable income to the payee.”

Therefore, the husband would receive a tax deduction so that he would be paying taxes only on the amount less his tax rate as a percentage of income. Husband would receive a tax deduction on the $50,000 in alimony he is to pay to wife, but he won’t receive a 100% deduction on this amount. After the deduction, husband would actually be paying $32,500 to wife, not the full $50,000. The wife will pay taxes on the full $50,000 she receives in alimony, but at her rate of 15%, which only amounts to about $7,500.

Under the new tax plan, this deduction is eliminated. That will have two effects: first, the payor spouse will not receive any tax deduction for any alimony payments made, which will amount to a straight loss to the payor spouse. Second, it will make it far more difficult to negotiate alimony on behalf of the wife who did not work outside of the home, and does not have a skills set that would allow her to seek gainful employment, as there would now be no tax benefit to husband for providing alimony to wife.

Additional tax concerns for continuing education

In Maryland, there is a type of spousal support called transitional alimony. It starts after the divorce decree is final, and continues for a certain length of time, to allow a spouse to learn a new trade, or to go back to school – in short, to allow him or her to become self-sufficient. Under the current tax laws, the interest on student loans is tax deductible, and employers can contribute up to $5,000 to an employee’s education without that $5,000 being listed as income. Many companies, for example, will pay for college classes that are applicable to your work, or offer some form of tuition reimbursement.

Under the new plan, the student loan deduction disappears entirely, and any educational contributions made by your employer will be listed as income. If we use our example from above, the wife will face an additional $750 in taxes (for the contributions to her education by her employer). If she takes out a loan to pay for school, and pays $1,000 in interest on that loan, she will be taxed on that $1,000 ($150, with her 15% tax bracket).

The new tax Bill will cost you more in childcare, too

When figuring the “needs” of a family, an employer can provide child care reimbursement for up to $5,000 each year. When we are preparing budgets for our clients, this is a serious consideration. Under the current tax laws, that $5,000 is not taxable income. However, under the new tax plan, it would will be. Our wife will pay another $750 in taxes (given her 15% tax bracket).

To recap: under the current laws, our newly divorced wife will pay $7,500 in taxes on her $50,000 annual alimony. Under the President’s new tax plan – the tax plan currently being debated in the House – she will instead pay $9,150. However, as she will actually be taxed on $60,000 of income (for continuing education and child care), the chances are good that she might move into the next tax bracket altogether, which, of course, will increase her taxes even more, despite no increase in the actual alimony payments being made to her.

Adding insult to injury with the Capital Gains Tax

Alimony is not the only aspect that could be affected in a divorce. A capital gain is defined as the “increase in the value of a capital asset (investment or real estate) that gives it a higher worth than the purchase price. The gain is not realized until the asset is sold. A capital gain may be short-term (one year or less) or long-term (more than one year) and must be claimed on income taxes.” A capital gains tax is levied on the difference between the original purchase price and the sale price. Generally speaking, the people in the lowest tax brackets tend not to have capital assets that would generate capital gains taxes.

Capital gains taxes can affect what you pay when you sell your home, or when (as in many cases of divorce) one spouse moves out of the family home, and the other spouse retains possession of it. The existing law – which was changed awhile back to make it more fair to the person in possession of the home – is that if you have owned your home, and used it as your principal residence for two of the prior five years, you get an exemption for capital gains on the sale of the house for up to $500,000 for a couple, or $250,000 for a single person.

Under the new bill, you would need to live in the family home for at least five out of the last eight years. Therefore, if you and your spouse bought a home six years ago, there is no exemption. If your spouse lives in the home for more than three years, and you are the one who moved out, you lose the exemption. If you wanted to delay the sale of your home, you lose the exemption.

And the person who moves out? He or she may pay up to $40,000 in taxes.

This new tax bill can and will have long-lasting, and potentially painful, effects on people who are seeking a divorce. It will make negotiations more challenging, and both you and your spouse stand to lose much more than you will gain, if this tax Bill becomes a law. At Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC, we do whatever is in our power to help out clients throughout Maryland retain their assets, minimize their tax burden, and protect their families and futures. To speak with an experienced divorce lawyer at our office in Annapolis, please contact the firm or call 410-990-0090.

Divorce can be messy and expensive, and even under the most amicable of circumstances, it creates upheaval in the lives of everyone concerned. There may be contentious fights about the division of marital assets, who will keep the house, and who will get custody of the kids. Perhaps you and your spouse want to “tough it out,” thinking it will be less painful for the children if you wait until they are grown to end your marriage. But does raising your children in a household with two parents who are tired of each other make for the best atmosphere in which a child can grow up?

Children are incredibly perceptive, and most can tell that you are not in love with each other anymore. They may see it in the physical distance you stand from your spouse, or hear the muffled sounds of arguments behind closed doors. They pick up on shifts in behavior that you may not even know are occurring, such as a stiffening of the shoulders when touched; one of you going to bed first; or one of you taking more “business trips.” Staying together for their sake might seem like the “right” thing to do, but it will not help you, your spouse or your children in the long run. In cases where you or your child is being abused, it is even more dangerous.

What the research says

Studies and polls support the idea that it is better for an unhappy couple to separate or divorce than to stay together for the sake of the children. In 2008, Cornell published a study that looked at close to 2000 families. In that study, they “compare

In 2015, the British family law organization, Resolution, polled 514 people between the ages of 14 and 22 about their experience with parental separation. According to their research, “An overwhelming majority (82%) of the young people surveyed said that, despite their feelings at the time, they felt it was ultimately better that their parents divorced rather than stay together unhappily.”

Despite how you may feel about your spouse, you can channel the feelings you have about preserving your child’s happiness and sense of safety into making the divorce and subsequent co-parenting process as healthy and cooperative as possible. And you do not have to feel guilty about doing so, either.

Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC provides thoughtful, competent guidance to clients throughout Maryland. To learn more about our services, please call 410-990-0090 or complete our contact form to schedule a consultation with a skilled Annapolis divorce attorney.

In the years since the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that marriage equality would be the law of the United States, state laws have been changing and adapting to same-sex marriage and the consequences it has for families and family law issues.

It turns out that the Supreme Court decision regarding marriage equality was just the first step for same sex couples and their families. Here we will share brief snippets of news stories about legal changes that are going on across the country that will have an impact on same-sex marriages and families.

Polls show growing support for same-sex marriage

In a poll conducted by the Pew Research Center for U.S. Politics & Policy, Support for Same-Sex Marriage Grows, Even Among Groups That Had Been Skeptical. Pew research polling indicates that 62% of Americans now say that they favor allowing same-sex marriage while 32% are still opposed to the idea. The article talks about how views on same-sex marriage have shifted dramatically in recent years, and in this research study, which was conducted in June 2017, among 2,504 adults, researchers found striking support for same-sex marriage among demographics and partisan groups that had, until recently, broadly opposed it.

Arkansas must now list both same-sex parents on birth certificates

On June 26, 2017, the Supreme Court of the U.S. ruled that, as per the Obergefell v. Hodges decision that entitles same-sex couples to civil marriage, “on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples,” the state of Arkansas is now required to list gay spouses on birth certificates. The state law in Arkansas had required that the male spouse be listed on the birth certificate when a woman gives birth to a child, however, the Arkansas Supreme Court held that state law did not have to apply in the same way for same-sex couples.

The case Pavan v. Smith was brought to the Supreme Court by two same-sex couples who were married, and who had conceived by artificial insemination. The Arkansas Department of Health listed only the mother’s name on the birth certificates because the state law said that only husbands can be listed on a birth certificate.

Supreme Court Justice Gorsuch dissented, writing, “Nothing in Obergefell indicates that a birth registration regime based on biology, one no doubt with many analogues across the country and throughout history, offends the Constitution.”

Judge in Kentucky recuses himself from adoption cases for “homosexual parties”

While some stories have good news for the cause of the acceptance of same-sex marriage and family, others represent a more entrenched way of thinking. In Kentucky, Judge W. Mitchell Nance has issued an order recusing himself from adoption cases involving “homosexual parties” as a matter of conscience, because “under no circumstance would the best interest of the child be promoted by the adoption by a practicing homosexual.” In a story in the Courier-Journal, some experts said the judge may be violating rules by issuing a blanket refusal to hear same-sex adoption cases.

If you are a same sex couple facing a family law dispute, you will benefit from the services of an experienced Annapolis divorce attorney. We encourage you to give us a call at 410.921.2422 or fill out our contact form and schedule a consultation where you can discuss your case with our knowledgeable team of Maryland divorce lawyers at Cynthia H. Clark & Associates, LLC, who will protect your interests.